Joy Ignites Success

Why do we worry?

By - Friday, May 29, 2015

Can’t help it? Have to worry? Bad things are happening?
When I ask my clients why they worry, they almost always respond with something they are worried about. “I’m afraid I will lose my job, the economy is falling apart, my health is deteriorating.” If you stop for a moment, you might realize they haven’t answered my question. I didn’t ask what they were worried about, I asked why do they worry. Two very different questions, with very different answers. Therapeutically, if I address the issue they are worried about, we might resolve it for the moment, but almost guaranteed, they will be back next week with something else they are worried about. They are stuck in the habit of worrying.
In my experience, most people who worry excessively do so because either (or both) they don’t realize they have a choice or they believe that worrying will result in some version of a positive outcome.
So the first thing to recognize is there is a choice whether or not to worry. The second step is to debunk any myth that worrying will get you what you want.

Sometimes just hearing that you have a choice whether or not to worry is enough to start to shift your thinking. If that’s not the case for you, you might allow yourself to wonder what makes you believe you don’t have any control in this matter. You might even set an intention to catch yourself every time you say “I have to worry” or “I’m worried” and just change the words to “I could worry about this” and see what you notice. There are many ways to start to let go of the worry habit, but the first step has to be to recognize it’s possible and to set an intention for it to be different.
In debunking the myth of a positive outcome, query this: When you worry, what are you giving energy to? You are in all likelihood holding in mind a picture of exactly what you don’t want to have happen. This picture can be based on past experiences or imagined scenarios. Either way, it’s not here now. When you hold a picture of what you are afraid of, you are giving it energy. There’s a saying, fear and it will appear. Fear has a strong energetic vibration in the body and magnetizes better than most positive thinking. The act of worrying cannot create a positive outcome, because it is not giving energy to a positive outcome. It is possible that worrying has caused you to take action that has resulted in things going your way, but it was not the act of worrying that did that.
When you recognize that worrying is not productive and is optional, the next step is to ask yourself if you are ready to break the habit. In my next post, I’ll give you the first of many tips for breaking the worry habit.  

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About MSI

Melanie Smithson Institute is dedicated to enriching lives through embodied education and training; using movement, play and releasing to connect with innate wisdom and joy.  

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