Joy Ignites Success


Are you beating the fun out of yourself?

By  - Thursday, May 17, 2018

Are you beating the fun out of yourself?



Would you like to have more fun? Are you waiting and waiting for it to happen?
Most would say they’d like to have more fun. But most are also tyrants with themselves. Thoughts like “there’s no time to play”, “there’s too much to do” and “I’m too tired” rule the day. And too often, the belief is that the way to get things done is to just buckle down and do it.
This is the opposite of the truth. Fun is one of the best (if not the best) motivator there is. Pause for a moment to consider this- someone invites you to an event and it sounds like a lot of fun. You’re likely to say yes immediately, or figure out how to move things in your schedule to get there. In a different scenario, the same person invites you to an event, but this time you think to yourself “I should go because _______”. It doesn’t matter what you fill in the blank with, as soon as you tell yourself you should go, you’re in trouble. Read More

How Do We Let Go?

By  - Tuesday, January 23, 2018

In 30 Ways or Less


It’s one thing to know you should let go and to even want to let go and it’s another thing to know how and actually let go. In this post, you'll find a summary of the three primary ways to let go and a list of 30 suggestions based in movement, play and Sedona releasing.
1.    Move it!
Emotions live in the body (for more about this, check out Molecules of Emotion by Candace Pert). One of the most effective ways to let go of a feeling is to physically move it. Whether you dance with it, run through it or hike it up a mountain; getting conscious to what’s happening in your body will help you to let go. Suggestions 2-4, 11, 12, 18, 19, 22-24 and 27-30 all involve moving.
2.    Play with it!
Many of our habitual patterns developed when we were little trying on adult behaviors. Playing into stuck-ness is a natural way to let go. “In play all definitions slither, dance, combine, break apart, and recombine.” (S. Nachmanovitch, Free Play) Because of its spontaneous nature, play takes us out of strong habitual patterns and brings us into the present moment, where we can make a new choice. Suggestions 5-7, 12, 13, 17, 21, 25 and 26 all stem from play.
3.    Release it!
The Sedona Method is a phenomenal technique for letting go of unwanted thoughts and feelings. I have written many articles about and incorporating the method. The first two are the basics: 5 Ways to Release and The 4 Programs (that underlie thoughts, feelings and behaviors). This link takes you to 25 blogs that reference the Sedona Method. Suggestions 1, 2 and 16 are examples of Sedona Method releases.
 

30 Ways to Let Go of Unwanted Thoughts, Feelings, Sensations

1. Be with what is here is this moment. Allow the thoughts and sensations to do whatever they are doing.  Let go of wanting to change what is.
2. Just drop it. (pen analogy)
3. Use your arms to Give Up. (arms in air)
4. Shake or bounce it loose (thoughts, feelings and sensations).
 Read More

Let Go Feel Good

By  - Thursday, November 30, 2017

Why Should I Let Go?




Welcome to part one of Why, How, When and Where to let go. As with anything, when it comes to letting go, the mind wants to know “why should I?” And, of course, if anyone tells you that you should do something, you will likely resist. So finding your own motivation to let go (or release) becomes critically important. In my personal experience and in the experience of my clients gains from releasing have been numerable and significant. Perhaps my personal favorite gain is having let go of a lifelong habit of worrying. Clients have reported new ease in relationships, more clarity about what they want in life, freedom from grief and anxiety and so much more. Here are 5 reasons you might consider letting go:

  1. When you hold on to anger, resentment or hostility in any form, the person who suffers the most is always you. Yes, you might be simultaneously punishing another (though often they don’t even know), but the bottom line is that the feeling of anger is being experienced in your body, not theirs. And the feeling of anger in the body is uncomfortable and can lead to physical and emotional distress.
  2.  Read More

Making Fun of Yourself

By  - Wednesday, July 05, 2017

In a most delightful way!



Do you take yourself just a little too seriously?
Most of us do. We think that what we think, what we believe and what we feel (emotionally and physically) is significant, unique to us, and therefore very special.
And I’m certainly not going to be the one to suggest it’s not. But what if you did? What if you could see the humor in your life experiences? Do you think life might just get a little easier? A little more fun? If you’re open to giving it a try, here’s some ways you might be able to play with yourself (yes, I said that).
1. Turn the disturbing thought into a song (using a familiar tune from childhood works well)
2. Use a little sarcasm with yourself (e.g. “really, Melanie, I’m sure you are the only person on the planet to have ever felt this way”).
3. Bounce the thoughts in your mind’s eye, or physically bounce your body (it’s almost impossible to hold onto a thought while bouncing).
 Read More

Worry is an expression of fear not of love

By  - Friday, May 12, 2017

Worry is an expression of fear, not of love

 

Do you tell your children, spouse, parents or anyone at all that you worry about them because you love them? If you do, I have a suggestion for you. Stop It. It’s a lie. Worry does not come from love, it is an act based in fear. Fear that you might lose a loved one, or fear that a loved one could get hurt or do something not in their best interest, for sure; but that doesn’t make worry an act of love.

If you think about it from a body perspective, it’s pretty obvious. Love is an expanded state. We feel open and available and soft and warm inside when we simply allow ourselves to love another. We love to love and seek this state of being more than anything else (though often in a very strange way). When we worry, we are experiencing the exact opposite. We are in a contracted state, physically and mentally. Worrying is not comfortable and most people who worry say they wish they could stop. In fact, I’ve never heard anyone say they’d like to worry more.

 Read More

Getting Your Head on Straight

By  - Wednesday, March 08, 2017


This morning, during my dance party (yup, dance party for one in my living room),  I was throwing my body and arms and head around, and found myself thinking that I was in the process of getting my head on straight so I could continue my writing. The importance of getting one’s head on straight (also known as getting your shit together), cannot be over emphasized. Our experience of the world is a direct result of how we see and interpret the circumstances of life. Think about it, when you are in a lousy mood, the world pretty much sucks. The reverse is also true, when feeling good about yourself, it’s easier to see the world from a kinder, gentler place, which results in more joy for you.
If we examine this expression from a body perspective, we can get very literal. Your head could be tilted to one side or another, or could be jutting forward (in yoga, known as forward head posture (fhp)) or even pulling back (pretty rare in our society). FHP is particularly common, thanks to computers, cell phones and devices that we tend to lean into when using.
 Read More

My Thoughts are Enough Thanks

By  - Wednesday, February 22, 2017



Do you ever find yourself questioning how you should think or act based on what others might think? If you’re like the rest of us, the answer is likely yes. But is this wise? Is it effective?
There are multiple problems inherent in this behavior. The first glaring issue is that no matter how well you know someone, you are still just guessing what they will think. The deeper complication is that you are attempting to access the wisdom (or lack thereof) of another, rather than tuning in to what you know to be true for yourself.
This behavior eats away at confidence and self-esteem. Read More

Washing the Dishes as an Act of Self-Care

By  - Thursday, February 09, 2017



At the time of this writing, I am on a mini retreat of my own. I find that taking myself out of my normal routine and environment is most conducive to a productive writing experience. The act itself is a monumental act of self-care. Being willing to leave the day-to-day running of the clinic and household to my husband is no small task. The ego self likes to believe things will fall apart without my presence for a day. The wiser part of me knows this is a lie and that taking care of self is indeed the most important act for well-being. And individual well-being is the foundation for relationship, community and world well-being. We build outwards from where we stand. If standing on shaking ground (which results from a lack of self-care), we cannot build the world we wish to live in.
 Read More

2017-The Year of the Pause

By  - Tuesday, January 24, 2017


I recently completed reading the entire text of A Course in Miracles. This was a huge task and one I had set a goal of completing by the end of 2016. A bit out of character, but I completed it. The next task was to read the Manual for Teachers. On January 1, when I opened the book, I immediately felt some resistance. And a deeper voice, saying “not yet”. On exploring this, I starting pondering how quickly we jump from one thing to the next and specifically, from one year to another. I realized that as much as I was ready to be done with 2016, I was not yet ready for 2017. Like the pause between the exhalation of breath that comes before the next inhalation, I needed a pause between years. Read More

OH NO. I am becoming just like my mom.

By  - Thursday, September 08, 2016

Are you afraid of becoming your mother?

 

I have heard that the fear of public speaking trumps the fear of death (not true for me, but still…). In my experience, for women, what trumps both is the fear of becoming our mother.
I know I had this fear for the first thirty years of my life. It still pops up when I look in the mirror and see her face looking back at me. For the most part, the fear left in one miraculous moment when my mother was yelling at the neighbor kids for playing in the alley. In that one moment, I got it. I was not my mother. And would probably never be her. The freedom I felt in that recognition was monumental.
At a retreat with Hale Dwoskin, in Sedona, some years ago, he made this comment: Your parents are the building blocks for all your suffering- you are either tying to be just like them, or nothing like them, and neither way is free.
When we consciously or unconsciously living in fear of becoming mom (or dad), we are living in resistance. You’ve probably heard the expression “what you resist, persist”, which means in all the trying not to become mom, you become more like mom.
So, what do you do if the fear is real?
 Read More



About MSI

Melanie Smithson Institute is dedicated to enriching lives through embodied education and training; using movement, play and releasing to connect with innate wisdom and joy.  

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