Joy Ignites Success

It’s one thing to know you should let go and to even want to let go and it’s another thing to know how and actually let go. In this post, you'll find a summary of the three primary ways to let go and a list of 30 suggestions based in movement, play and Sedona releasing.
1.    Move it!
Emotions live in the body (for more about this, check out Molecules of Emotion by Candace Pert). One of the most effective ways to let go of a feeling is to physically move it. Whether you dance with it, run through it or hike it up a mountain; getting conscious to what’s happening in your body will help you to let go. Suggestions 2-4, 11, 12, 18, 19, 22-24 and 27-30 all involve moving.
2.    Play with it!
Many of our habitual patterns developed when we were little trying on adult behaviors. Playing into stuck-ness is a natural way to let go. “In play all definitions slither, dance, combine, break apart, and recombine.” (S. Nachmanovitch, Free Play) Because of its spontaneous nature, play takes us out of strong habitual patterns and brings us into the present moment, where we can make a new choice. Suggestions 5-7, 12, 13, 17, 21, 25 and 26 all stem from play.
3.    Release it!
The Sedona Method is a phenomenal technique for letting go of unwanted thoughts and feelings. I have written many articles about and incorporating the method. The first two are the basics: 5 Ways to Release and The 4 Programs (that underlie thoughts, feelings and behaviors). This link takes you to 25 blogs that reference the Sedona Method. Suggestions 1, 2 and 16 are examples of Sedona Method releases.
 

30 Ways to Let Go of Unwanted Thoughts, Feelings, Sensations

1. Be with what is here is this moment. Allow the thoughts and sensations to do whatever they are doing.  Let go of wanting to change what is.
2. Just drop it. (pen analogy)
3. Use your arms to Give Up. (arms in air)
4. Shake or bounce it loose (thoughts, feelings and sensations).
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Welcome to part one of Why, How, When and Where to let go. As with anything, when it comes to letting go, the mind wants to know “why should I?” And, of course, if anyone tells you that you should do something, you will likely resist. So finding your own motivation to let go (or release) becomes critically important. In my personal experience and in the experience of my clients gains from releasing have been numerable and significant. Perhaps my personal favorite gain is having let go of a lifelong habit of worrying. Clients have reported new ease in relationships, more clarity about what they want in life, freedom from grief and anxiety and so much more. Here are 5 reasons you might consider letting go:

1. When you hold on to anger, resentment or hostility in any form, the person who suffers the most is always you. Yes, you might be simultaneously punishing another (though often they don’t even know), but the bottom line is that the feeling of anger is being experienced in your body, not theirs. And the feeling of anger in the body is uncomfortable and can lead to physical and emotional distress.
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How to stay calm in the face of incompetence.

In the workplace, we don’t always have a say about who we work with. Sometimes, the person we are working with, or reporting to, is incompetent. Or at least it seems that way.
And while I’m sure you wish they would be different, that is not often in your control. Imperturbability, calm and unruffled self-assurance or equanimity, is however, within reach. Here are 5 things you can do in this situation to restore well-being.
Therapeutic Interventions:
1.    Breathe. Deeply inhale and fully exhale several times.
2.    Pause for a moment and ask yourself how their incompetence impacts you.
If it really doesn’t affect you, just let it go. Notice that you don’t have to react to them. Ask yourself, “Do I really want to spend my energy on this?” or “Do I want to let this control me?” With another deep breath, you can imagine dropping the upset you’ve been carrying.
If it does affect you in terms of having to correct their mistakes or redo something, allow yourself to think about doing so and notice what feelings arise.
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Success Principle #22- Practice Persistence

The Principle in a Nutshell: Don’t Give Up!

Discussion: Today’s blog is a sneak peak at an excerpt from my book that will be published in 2013.

Just keep writing.  That’s what I’ve been telling myself.  Even if you don’t know where you’re going, even if you’re repeating yourself, even if you’re writing crap.  Just sit down and write.  Sort it out later.  Different than discipline, persistence calls on the stubborn part of me that knows what she wants and knows how to get it.  It’s rare that I get to consciously employ her.  More often than not, I have to tell her not now or let it go.  But, with this book, she is very useful.   Read More

Success Principle #21- Keep Score for Success

The Principle in a Nutshell: Keep records of your achievements and your progress.  Our natural inclination is to want more of what we feel good about.

Discussion: This principle is very close to one I teach ‘what you pay attention to multiplies’, but with a slightly different emphasis.  About 15 years ago, I was responsible for recruiting 40 volunteers to staff a weekend training.  It was challenging and time intensive.  To help motivate myself, I put up a board in my office and gave myself a star for every committed volunteer.  This visual reinforcement helped me to focus on the progress I was making, not how far I still had to go.  

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Success Principle #20- Commit to Constant and Never-Ending Improvement

The Principle in a Nutshell: To keep up in today’s world, improvement is a necessity.  But this principle also speaks to the innate urge to learn and improve oneself.   

Discussion: To be honest, when I opened to this principle, I cringed a bit.  Constant and Never-Ending Improvement?  Sounds exhausting to me.  (think I need to release?)  But when I reflect on my life and my business, this principle seems already embedded.  I am always looking for the next great modality or product for myself and my clients and I love workshops that support self awareness and evolution.  Coming from a Sedona Method perspective, I might balance this with the recognition that I know enough and am enough as I am.  

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Success Principle #19- Use Feedback to Your Advantage

The Principle in a Nutshell: Feedback shows up verbally and non-verbally; use it constructively.   

Discussion: Whenever we attempt something new and share it with the world, we receive feedback.  Some positive, some negative, some verbal, some non-verbal.  What we do with that feedback makes a huge difference in how we continue.  If we accept all feedback from external sources, we risk cutting off from internal wisdom.  If we reject all external feedback, we risk getting lost in our own illusions.  Learning to be with feedback, trying it on for size and integrating what is helpful and letting go of what is not, is a skill that can serve us well.   Read More

Success Principle #18:  Reject Rejection

The Principle in a Nutshell: Recognize that the whole concept of rejection is in your head.

Discussion: This principle speaks to how we perceive other people’s responses to us and our requests or proposals.  It recognizes that a ‘no’ response is not a rejection of us.  How many times have you said no to cake or ice cream?  Is it because you don’t like cake or ice cream?  Do you think the cake takes it personally?  Do you think the ice cream will never try to entice you again?  Yes, I am personifying inanimate objects, but maybe we have something to learn from them.  The fifth way of releasing recognizes that there is really nothing personal or attached to us anyway.  So, the fact that someone says no to us, doesn’t have to have any meaning at all. Read More

Success Principle #17:  Ask, Ask, Ask

The Principle in a Nutshell: If you don’t ask, you don’t know.  Don’t assume you know what the answer will be.

Discussion: An often sited principle by Jack and his coaches, there is more to it than meets the eye.  From a therapist’s perspective, being willing to ask and risk rejection takes a strong sense of self.  But, it goes both ways- being willing to ask and risk rejection can build self-esteem.  We stop ourselves from asking for what we want because we think we know the answer, because we don’t want to be a bother or because we were taught that it was impolite to ask.   Read More

Success Principle #16:  Be Willing to Pay the Price

The Principle in a Nutshell: Success doesn’t come without putting in the work.  

Discussion: I think this is a principle worth looking at from a few different angles.  The examples Jack Canfield sites in his book are from sports and music, where practice can fine tune and develop ability. Hale Dwoskin might respond to this principle with a comment like this- ‘unless it does’.  I think that putting in the work  (or paying the price) may be releasing and getting the limitations out of the way.  To me, the key point in this principle is the word willing.  How willing are you to take action if necessary, release when appropriate and stick to it when you feel like giving up? Read More