Joy Ignites Success

How much time do you spend wondering and worrying about what someone else may think about about you? If you are like most, it's probably way too much. There’s a book title that I reference to my clients regularly. It’s by Terry Cole-Whittaker: What You Think of Me is None of My Business, and there’s a similar quote "Your Opinion of Me Is None of My Business", credited to several different authors. Whoever said it first doesn’t really matter. It’s true. Approximately 99% (okay, I made that statistic up, but I’m sure it’s close to accurate) of what someone else thinks of you says more about them and their past, than it says about you.
Everybody’s perception, including yours, is colored by personal life experience.

We see the world and others through our own filters. Our opinions of others are determined by what we believe is okay for us and therefore, the world in general. If you were raised by conservative parents, pole dancing may be repulsive to you. Raised by liberal parents, pole dancing may be the greatest thing to come along in years. Why would the person who is engaging in pole dancing want to be influenced by your parents? She (or he) has her own parents she’s still dealing with (dead or alive). And the same is true for us. I have my own parental recordings that regularly replay .Why would I want to be influenced or controlled by what others think of me?
This is not to say that I won’t want input from time to time to help me make a decision. There are people in my life I trust and respect, and if there is wisdom to be shared, I want it. What I have learned to be wary of, is all those offering unsolicited advice. No thanks, I say to that!
So what do we do when offered opinions we don’t want? Instead of accepting them or rejecting them in anger, we can stop, take a breath, and notice what’s happening inside of us. Pay attention to the sensations in the body, any feeling of having to defend, or any thoughts of not being good enough. When you recognize that you are having a reaction, you can decide what you want to do with it.  The ten seconds it takes to breathe gives you the opportunity to choose your action. One of my favorite actions is to say to myself "Huh, isn't it interesting that he thinks that?" and go about my day.   

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