Joy Ignites Success

Defending, Justifying and Explaining

By - Friday, June 22, 2012

Defending, Justifying and Explaining

Do you have a habit of wanting to explain yourself or your actions?  Do you defend and justify everything you do to others or even to yourself?  If you do, you are definitely not alone.  The tendency to want to defend our behaviors, thoughts and feelings is rampant in our society and often comes from wanting approval or security.  We think if someone understands why we did what we did, they won’t be mad at us, or they will ‘get us’.  The justifying and explaining could also be coming from wanting to control their reactions or opinions, or from wanting to be the same as them (oneness) or wanting to be different from them (separation).  The problem with all the explaining and defending, is that it creates a feeling that we did something wrong, even if we didn’t originally feel that way.


There is a lesson from the Course in Miracles that relates to this concept.  When I Defend, I Am Attacked.  The act of defending leads to a feeling in the body of being under siege.  It is an internal dynamic that creates a contracted state in both body and mind.  In this contracted state, it’s hard to see clearly and we can get stuck in thinking and behaviors.  Further, every time we justify why something is the way it is, we give it energy and weight, increasing the probability that the behavior, feeling or thought will hang around or repeat itself.

Sedona Method Release

Holistic Releases:

I have to defend myself/There’s no need to defend myself

I have to explain my actions/I don’t have to explain my actions

I have to justify my experience/I don’t have to justify my experience

As you do these releases, they will either neutralize the feeling, or flush up more feelings.  If they flush up more feelings, you can ask yourself   ‘Is this coming from wanting approval, control, security, separation or oneness?’  And whichever you are most aware of, could you let it go?  Repeat until the charge dissolves.

Movement/Play Activity

Go For It

Part A. Spend one hour defending, justifying and explaining every thought you think and every move you make (yes, there’s a song there) to anyone and everyone who will listen (yourself included).  Notice how you feel and how your body feels at the end of the hour.  

Part B. See if you can go for one full day without justifying, defending or explaining anything to anybody.  You might need to try this on a day when you know your boss won’t ask why you did something (or make that the exception).  







Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink

comments powered by Disqus

About MSI

Melanie Smithson Institute is dedicated to enriching lives through embodied education and training; using movement, play and releasing to connect with innate wisdom and joy.  

Add JOY and SUCCESS to Your Life!  Start NOW!

Free Newsletter Sign-up

* Required