Sedona Method
4 programs that underlie feelings and behavior
Control Program
Attachment: Wanting to control. Feels hard edged and pushy. Synonyms for wanting to control: resistance, wanting to change, wanting to understand, to manipulate, to push, to fix, to force, to have it be our way, to be right, to make it happen, to coerce
Aversion: Wanting to be controlled. Feels like wanting to be taken care of, to have someone else do it or be in charge. Synonyms: wanting to be confused, wanting to be manipulated, to give in, to be fixed, to be forced, to follow, to blame, to be the victim.
Approval Program
Attachment: Wanting approval. Feels soft and ‘give me’ or needy. Synonyms: wanting love, acceptance, admiration, caring, to be noticed, to be understood, to be stroked, to be nurtured, to be liked, to be acknowledged, appreciated.
Aversion: Wanting disapproval. Feels rebellious and rejecting, sometimes spiteful. Synonyms: wanting to be disliked, to be rejected, to be made wrong, to be misunderstood
Security/Survival Program
Attachment: Wanting security. Feels threatened and unsafe. Synonyms: wanting safety, to survive, to get revenge, to protect ourselves and others, to attack, to defend, to kill.
Aversion: Wanting to die. Feels like wanting to give up, rejecting life. Synonyms: wanting danger, to end it all, to expose ourselves and others, to be attacked, to be defenseless, to be threatened, to be killed.
Separation Program
Attachment: Wanting to be One. Feels like wanting to connect or dissolve into. Synonyms: wanting to unite, to be equal with, to be ordinary, to attach, to associate, to join, to connect
Aversion: Wanting to be separate. Feel like wanting to pull away and reject. Synonyms: wanting to be alone, to reject, to look down on, to stand out, to be special, to detach, to disassociate, to disconnect.
4 programs that underlie feelings and behavior
Control Program
Attachment: Wanting to control. Feels hard edged and pushy. Synonyms for wanting to control: resistance, wanting to change, wanting to understand, to manipulate, to push, to fix, to force, to have it be our way, to be right, to make it happen, to coerce
Aversion: Wanting to be controlled. Feels like wanting to be taken care of, to have someone else do it or be in charge. Synonyms: wanting to be confused, wanting to be manipulated, to give in, to be fixed, to be forced, to follow, to blame, to be the victim.
Approval Program
Attachment: Wanting approval. Feels soft and ‘give me’ or needy. Synonyms: wanting love, acceptance, admiration, caring, to be noticed, to be understood, to be stroked, to be nurtured, to be liked, to be acknowledged, appreciated.
Aversion: Wanting disapproval. Feels rebellious and rejecting, sometimes spiteful. Synonyms: wanting to be disliked, to be rejected, to be made wrong, to be misunderstood
Security/Survival Program
Attachment: Wanting security. Feels threatened and unsafe. Synonyms: wanting safety, to survive, to get revenge, to protect ourselves and others, to attack, to defend, to kill.
Aversion: Wanting to die. Feels like wanting to give up, rejecting life. Synonyms: wanting danger, to end it all, to expose ourselves and others, to be attacked, to be defenseless, to be threatened, to be killed.
Separation Program
Attachment: Wanting to be One. Feels like wanting to connect or dissolve into. Synonyms: wanting to unite, to be equal with, to be ordinary, to attach, to associate, to join, to connect
Aversion: Wanting to be separate. Feel like wanting to pull away and reject. Synonyms: wanting to be alone, to reject, to look down on, to stand out, to be special, to detach, to disassociate, to disconnect.